Who's to blame?

I don't know about you, but I'm still reeling from the news of Saturday's shooting of Congresswoman Giffords and death of 6 people at a political rally in Arizona.The finger pointing and fist waving began almost immediately. I am not innocent here. I was one of those people drawing a straight line from Sarah Palin and Jesse Kelly's violent gun-filled imagery to the tragedy in Arizona.

But as we learn more about Jared Loughner and his troubled past we learn even less about why he committed this horrific act. The left is arguing it's Sarah Palin's fault for putting the Congresswoman in her crosshairs and for telling her followers "...don't retreat, reload!" The right point to Loughner's reading list (the Communist Manifesto) as evidence that he was a left-wing nut job. We may never know what were Loughner's political influences - if he had any at all. But this doesn't absolve our "thought" leaders from their role in feeding a madman's delusions.

Today Ms. Palin issued a video statement on the shootings absolving herself from any blame for the tragic events. She's right. It's not her fault. She didn't put the gun directly in Loughner's hand. She didn't tell him to hunt down Congresswoman Giffords. There's no proof that Loughner had ever listened to a word that Ms. Palin ever said, or saw her map with the rifle sights over Giffords's name. But she missed the point and the opportunity to show the American public that she is capable of self-reflection and personal responsibility.

Earlier this week Keith Olbermann issued a mea culpa for adding to the political vitriol that has plagued our airwaves and issued a promise to try and tone it down. While I applaud Olbermann's sentiments, I believe that when the election cycle ramps up and sweeps week approaches, his self-aware sentiments will go right out the window.

Pundits like Palin, Olbermann, Glenn Beck are like parents who feed their kid a steady diet of Twinkies and soda and then act shocked when the pediatrician tells them that their kid weighs 200 lbs and has diabetes. Having access to America's airways is a privilege and responsibility. It's time for our pundits and politicians to step up and accept the responsibility that comes with the privilege they've been enjoying for years.

We'll never know why this disturbed man decided to open fire at a busy shopping center. What will be more productive is to try to understand how he was able to do it. How was it that an obviously disturbed individual went without proper mental health care? How was an obviously disturbed individual with a criminal record able to LEGALLY purchase a handgun? But that's for another blog.

For now, I just want to tune out the shrill, ugly voices on the airwaves. I want to ignore the blame game that is going on. I want to pray for those who were injured in this terrible tragedy and for the families of those who lost their lives. And hope that we can all grow up and learn a few lessons in humility and personal responsibility.

I don't mind paying taxes. Really

I get all sorts of cool stuff when I pay taxes. Like roads, free schooling for my kids, money when I retire - even if I don't save up, money when I get laid off from my job, safe workplaces, a healthier environment... And hey, if my taxes help someone else, all the better. I like doing nice things for other people.

But apparently many of my fellow Americans, especially those who are now in control of the U.S. House of Representatives, do not share the same sentiment. The Bush era tax cuts are set to expire soon. President Obama wants to repeal those tax cuts for those dual income households earning more than a quarter of a million dollars annually. But an emboldened right has vowed to keep every penny of those tax cuts in place.

The Washington Post published a comparison of the Republican and Democratic plans for the Bush era tax cuts. Yikes! Check out that bloat in the millionaires club! Ok, I'm biased. I would still get my tax cuts under the Dem's plan. And I'm not saying the wealthiest of the wealthiest shouldn't get a break. But come on! This is ridiculous!

Consider this:

The conditions which surround us best justify our cooperation; we meet in the midst of a nation brought to the verge of moral, political, and material ruin. Corruption dominates the ballot-box, the Legislatures, the Congress, and touches even the ermine of the bench.

The people are demoralized... The newspapers are largely subsidized or muzzled, public opinion silenced, business prostrated, homes covered with mortgages, labor impoverished, and the land concentrating in the hands of capitalists. The urban workmen are denied the right to organize for self-protection, imported pauperized labor beats down their wages... The fruits of the toil of millions are badly stolen to build up colossal fortunes for a few, unprecedented in the history of mankind; and the possessors of these, in turn, despise the Republic and endanger liberty. From the same prolific womb of governmental injustice we breed the two great classes—tramps and millionaires.

The national power to create money is appropriated to enrich bond-holders... thereby adding millions to the burdens of the people.

No, this isn't a rant from a political pundit commenting on the 2010 midterm elections. It's the 1892 party platform of the Populist Party. To all the Tea Party people who wanted to take back our government: Congratulations! The regressive conservative economic policies of the Bush era did take back our government - back to the 1890's.

Yeah, yeah. I know the Populists lost, but their efforts ushered in the Progressive Era of the early 20th Century. And guess what, the liberal reforms ushered in during that era weren't all that bad. Some of the reforms enacted as a result of the Progressive Era include the Pure Food and Drug Act of 1916 (I think we can all agree that this is a good one - e. coli is a total downer), the Mann Act or the White-Slave Traffic Act of 1910 (again, I think we can all agree that sex trafficking is bad), and the 19th Amendment (anybody have a problem with me voting????). Ok, the 18th Amendment sucked, but they repealed that one.

And guess what - we survived these reforms! We didn't end up becoming a socialist nation! Children were no longer abused in factories, workers earned a fare wage, etc...

The robber barons of the early 20th century may be gone but we still have staggering disparities in our wealth distribution in this country. What's even more disturbing is that most people don't even realize the incredible gap in our wealth distribution. An analysis of real and perceived wealth distribution was published in Building a Better America – One Wealth Quintile at a Time, by Michael Norton and Dan Ariely of Harvard and Duke, respectively. Here's a brief summary of their report:

We attempt to insert the desires of “regular” Americans into these debates, by asking a nationally representative online panel to estimate the current distribution of wealth in the United States and to “build a better America” by constructing distributions with their ideal level of inequality. First, respondents dramatically underestimated the current level of wealth inequality. Second, respondents constructed ideal wealth distributions that were far more equitable than even their erroneously low estimates of the actual distribution. Most important from a policy perspective, we observed a surprising level of consensus: All demographic groups – even those not usually associated with wealth redistribution such as Republicans and the wealthy – desired a more equal distribution of wealth than the status quo.

Here's the pictoral of the authors' findings:

Can you believe it? The Left and the Right actually agree on something! The wealthy and the poor agree! Women and men agree! So why can't we agree how to make things a little more fair?

So Republicans - stop the fear mongering. Tighten that death grip on those tax cuts for the wealthiest of the wealthy, and give the people what they want: a better America.

Let's Talk Plutocracy!

It's been about a month since my last post. I've missed the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, the midterm elections, the A-Rod/Cameron Diaz break up... So what sparked my need to blog?

It relates to a web post that has been circulating that quotes a pamphlet entitled "The Ten Cannots" which was published in 1916 by William J.H. Boetker:

▪ You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

▪ You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

▪ You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.

▪ You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.

▪ You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

▪ You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.

▪ You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

▪ You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.

▪ You cannot build character and courage by destroying men's initiative and independence.

▪ And you cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they can and should do for themselves.

"The Ten Cannots" have become a rallying cry for libertarians who want to see an end to government intervention into the economy or social issues and the anthem for those railing against President Obama's "socialist" agenda. Everyman for himself. Social Darwinism. Pull yourself up by your own boot straps... You get the picture.

Many who support his view also say that we should trust in the voluntary compassion and the charitable philanthropy of Americans to take care of those in need.

I’d love to trust in the compassion and charity of my fellow man – but I can’t. I can't because there are people out there who fall solidly into the "haves" category (whether they believe they are privileged or not) who take without giving. I can’t because there are people who feel entitled to everything they can get, yet feel no obligation to give back. I can’t because our political system has fostered a plutocracy that is more interested in protecting its wealth than protecting its people. I can't because when I stopped by my local food pantry recently, the shelves were almost bare.

Merriam Webster's Dictionary defines plutocracy as: 1. government by the wealthy; 2. a controlling class of the wealthy.

The United States has become a plutocracy and is in danger of being consumed by the value system of the wealthiest of the wealthy that got us to this point in history.

Don't think we live in a plutocracy? More than $270 million dollars was spent in the 2010 midterm elections. More than $72 million of that came from just three sources - American Crossroads (aka Karl Rove and Ed Gillespie), Crossroads GPS (also a Rove/Gillespie juggernaut), and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. According to the Center for Responsive Politics, the average cost of winning a House race in 2010 was $1.09 million, while the average cost of a Senate seat was $8.28 million.

With the Supreme Courts ruling in the case of Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, big money will have an even bigger say in who will be running our country. That would be all well and good if these corporations and the individuals who run them had any interest in furthering the cause of our country instead of feathering their own nests.

But don't take my word for it. Read Bill Moyers' October 29, 2010 speech at Boston University. It's a bit long, especially for those who favor sound bite politics, but it is definitely worth the time. Moyers lays out a cogent and powerful argument as to why plutocracy and democracy don't mix.

Sure - pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. I'd be down with that but what if the corporate robber barons have cut off your bootstraps and sent them to China? Leave it to the private sector to grow our economy and take care of our poor? Corporations are sitting on piles of cash reserves yet are not reinvesting in their companies, creating jobs, or stimulating our economy. Instead they are buying back stock and improving the portfolios of their CEOs. Too bad for the little guy who just wants a job so he can provide for his family.

As for relying on the private sector to provide a safety net for those left behind by our failing economy...that's like leaving the fox in charge of the hen house. It is the corporate practices of wage regression, overseas outsourcing, and the hoarding of corporate resources that is creating a growing underclass.

But back to our discussion of plutocracy... Former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich recently called the rise of plutocracy a result of a perfect storm:

The perfect storm: An unprecedented concentration of income and wealth at the top; a record amount of secret money flooding our democracy; and a public becoming increasingly angry and cynical about a government that’s raising its taxes, reducing its services, and unable to get it back to work.

We’re losing our democracy to a different system. It’s called plutocracy.

As for those of you who believe that you can't help the poor by destroying the rich... Wake up!!! It's not a zero sum game. Ensuring a safety net for the poor does not mean that our economy will collapse. It means that a family may not have to live in the back of their car when Bank of America forecloses on their house because they defaulted on a mortgage that BoA never should have issued in the first place. It means that maybe some children won't go hungry tomorrow. It means that perhaps we can prevent another environmental catastrophe like the BP oil spill. It means we might be able to prevent another workplace catastrophe like the Massey Mine explosion. It means, that maybe, just maybe, some people will be able to pull themselves up from abject poverty to achieve the American Dream.

And for those of you who have taken Boetker's pamphlet to heart, I pray for you and yours that you never find yourself poor, you never find yourself weak, you never find yourself out of work, and never find yourself in need of help. But if you ever do, don't worry, there are still people who believe that:

You will not destroy the rich by helping the poor;

You will not weaken the strong by strengthening the weak; and

You will not pull the wage earner down by lifting the wage payer.

And you know what? Taxes suck, but they pay for stuff. Government regulations are a headache but they save lives. And some people getting government assistance will game the system, whether they are receiving food stamps and section 8 housing or massive corporate bailouts and tax cuts.

But guess what? We live in a civilized society. We’re supposed to take care of each other.

What are you teaching your children?

My oldest daughter is home sick today so my husband took Tess to school (or the Island of the Lord of the Flies as we now call it). Here's his observation of what happened:

... Most of her KTech class were sitting on a couple benches while an aide read to them. There was no room on a bench to sit so she went to sit by herself on the floor. As Tess entered the circle one boy said, "Here's comes a baby!" and the other kids laughed and a couple kids made a few similar comments. Tess made a forced laugh too. The aide did not think it was funny. She was very angry with the kids. She made the boy sit right at her feet, and the other kids immediate started saying to the boy that he was a baby and he would cry. Other kids, girls and boys, started making jokes about being a fat baby, and one boy said something about him being a girl and having "boobs". The aide grew even angrier and scolded the boy strongly, saying "we don't say that kind of thing to our friends", and made him sit at her feet as well. Meanwhile a couple of other kids repeated the word "boobs" and the others laughed.

All this happened within about 60 seconds. The first minute of Tess's day ... and she had been needled and seen other kids needled and heard at least half a dozen hurtful remarks from her peers and seen everyone else laughing at them.

On the plus side, I am glad to see that the aide recognized that the tone the group took with one other was essentially one of harassment and took steps within her power to quell it. And I suppose I can take cold comfort in the fact that Tess is not the only kid being bullied... On the down side, I was sad to see that the kids in my child's class treat each other this way, and I fear that Tess will learn to bully in order to fit in and deflect harassment.

Needless to say, we're pulling her out of that school just as soon as we can get her enrolled elsewhere. We have an appointment at a Catholic school on Tuesday. But I'm torn about taking her out and leaving those other kids in an environment that has let this type of behavior develop. Part of me feels like I need to stick it out and make sure the school develops strong anti-bullying policies and programs. But I have to put my advocate hat aside and take care of my daughter's needs first.

Because this is a private school, I have very little hope that any action on my part would have a significant impact. I talked to another mother who's daughter was bullied there last year. That mother went all the way to the head of the company. Nothing was done and so she pulled her daughter from the school.

I think we need a national effort to teach our children respect - respect for themselves and respect for others. Children who respect themselves are less likely to be bullies and less likely to be bullied by others. I'm realistic. Children will be children and children can be cruel. But we, as adults, should make sure that cruelty is not the accepted norm in our schools.

We can begin by treating each other with a little more respect and serve as examples for our children. I'm not naive. I don't expect us all to just get along. We have different beliefs, backgrounds, etc. We don't have to agree about politics or religion. We don't even have to like each other. But we should treat each other with respect. We should lead by example.

This goes far beyond free speech, religion, politics, or bullying - it's an issue of basic human rights and dignity.

Bullies suck.

Last week I posted about the tragic deaths of three young men as the result of bullying in their schools. They were being bullied for their sexual orientation. I was outraged and saddened but in a distant sort of liberal pinko peacenik sort of way.

Now it's personal. My baby came home from kindergarden yesterday in tears. The reason - bullying. Pint sized bullying. For no particular reason, two little girls in her class have decided that it'll be fun to pick on my daughter. Look at this face - why would you want to make this beautiful face cry?

It started with my daughter being the only girl in her class (there are only 4 girls in her class) not invited to a sleep over. Then it was was the giggling and making faces at her when she walked into the building. Then it was calling her yucky and disgusting and ridiculing everything she says and does. They have figured out that this sweet little girl is a bit on the sensitive side and it's easy to make her miserable and bonus! it's fun.

I've spoken with the teacher who was blissfully unaware that it was going on. When I asked to have a conference with the parents of the other girls I was told it was against school policy and that they would talk to the children and their parents. Not good enough. They need more than a note home. I want these parents to see how their children's behavior is impacting my child. I want to hear from these parents what their plans are for addressing this behavior.

When talking to another mom about this, she shared that her daughter (I'll call her Suzie) was bullied for a good part of last year when she was in kindergarden - so much so that she refuses to take the bus this year. Yes, kids will be kids, but the bullying - especially with girls, seems to be starting earlier and earlier.

We need to start holding our children - even our youngest children, accountable for their words and actions. Bullying, even pint-sized bullying cannot be tolerated. We also need to give our children the skills they need to counter bullying.

And we need to start holding parents, teachers, and administrators accountable as well. If this kind of bullying is tolerated in kindergarden and first grade, just image what terrors these little girls will be by the time they get to high school.

To the parents of these two little mean girls in training: Are you going to tell me you don't see these behaviors in your children? Come on. I can see it in the 5 minutes I spend with your daughters before and after school everyday. Do you think it's cute or cool? Or do you just think that my daughter needs to toughen up? Just wait until it's your child that is the victim of bullying.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Bullies aren't born, they're made. It's up to us to stop the cycle of bullying. We don't all have to be friends but we do need to learn to be respectful of each other.

It's about parking spaces, really!

I guess Brooklyn isn't far enough from Ground Zero for some people. On Sunday the Tea Party brought out their best vitriol to protest the building of an Islamic community center in Brooklyn, about 15 miles from Ground Zero. John Kenneth Press, President of the Brooklyn Tea Party stirred up 'patriotic' passions during his speech in which he framed the issue as not one of zoning but making America safe from democracy. These comments opened the door for hate-filled, racist shouts and chanting from the protesters.

Now John Kenneth Press is a nut job - even other Tea Party people think he's nuts. But it highlights the problem with the Tea Party movement. Too many nuts, not enough squirrels to bury them.

November is fast approaching and Tea Party candidates are flooding our airwaves. If you consider yourself a Tea Party supporter, it's on YOU to ask you candidates about what they believe. Are they couching racism and bigotry in terms of "culturalism"? Look past the easy rhetoric of lower taxes, smaller government, etc... and listen to what they are saying about immigration, Islam, and our own President who - just so we're clear on this - is an American, eligible to hold office, and a Christian (not that being a Christian should be a prerequisite for being President of the United States, IMHO).

This rally on Brooklyn should have been about zoning, traffic impact studies, and parking issues. To be fair, that's what the initial debate was all about. Some neighbors felt that the residential street won't be able to handle the additional traffic and parking needs of the community center. Hate should have been left out of it.

Let's do our part to make sure that this November's elections are about REAL issues and leave the politics of hate behind.

Sticks and Stones...

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." It didn't matter how many times my mother told me to repeat those words when some bully was making my life miserable. They didn't work then and they don't work now. Because words hurt.

I haven't posted in awhile. School's back in session and between shuttling between schools, ballet, gymnastics, and tae kwon do, there's not been a lot of energy left over for social outrage. But I'm lucky. In fact, I'm blessed. My kids seem to be as well adjusted as a first grader and kindergartner can be. For now.

Other parents aren't so lucky. For the families of Asher Brown, Tyler Clementi, and Seth Walsh, this school year will not be marked by car pools, report cards, school plays, homecoming games, parent-teacher conferences, or tuition bills. As most of you know by now, these three bright young lives tragically ended in suicide in the past week as a result of bullying at the hands of their "peers." Their crime? Simply being what God made them. Gay.

There were bullies when I went to high school. There were also gay kids, nerds, and kids who just didn't fit in. I've been asking myself why my school didn't have a rash of suicides. I mean really, it was the 80s - even the most well adjusted kid would have considered the big sleep after listening to the Smiths' Hatful of Hollow and The Cure's Pornography a few hundred times.

Maybe it was my generation's faith in our savior, John Hughes, that kept us sane. In movies like Some Kind of Wonderful, Sixteen Candles, and Pretty in Pink he made us believe that it would all be ok. The the social outcast would end up with the popular girl or boy. [side note: Am I the only one who thought that Molly Ringwald was definitely NOT pretty in pink? That dress was hideous!] And in the Breakfast Club he even made us believe, if only for a few minutes, that we could transcend our prejudices and stereotypes and that things would get better.

But things don't get better, do they? Bullies still rule the hallways of our nations' schools. And when those bullies grow up, they go on to get their own radio talk shows. Their hatred and bigotry are cloaked in religion, patriotism, and free speech. It's ok to hate gays because the bible says that homosexuality is a sin. It's ok to hate Muslims because they are out to destroy our country. And it's ok to bully a kid to his death because we all have the right to free speech. Yeah right - free speech. Free for whom? The free speech of a few bigoted, hateful teens cost Asher Brown, Tyler Clementi, and Seth Walsh their lives.

Free speech has become the bully's get-out-of-jail-free card. After all, the Constitution give us all the right to say what we feel, right? Yes it does. But words matter and we should be held accountable for what we say.

For those of us who have children, it is up to us to set the example. Kids aren't born bullies. Bullies are made. Listen to yourself when you start talking politics and religion. How could our words and actions be interpreted by young and impressionable minds? Do we reach out to the quirky kids in our neighborhood? The kids who don't fit in? Do we tell our kid that it's not ok to tease the kid who can't run as fast or hit a baseball, who wears funny clothes, or who is just "weird"? Do we stand up and speak out when we see hatred and injustice in society? If we don't how will our children learn to?

I wish I could tell all the kids out there who are suffering that it gets better - that the geek will find true love and that the bully gets what's coming to him and the mean girl gets hers. But it doesn't always work out that way.

There is hope though. Some people are using their right to free speech to reach out and make things better. Columnist Dan Savage and his husband have started the It Gets Better Project. They and other adults have videotaped messages of hope to kids who are being tormented by bullies.

On their website www.godlovespoetry.com Kevin Cobb and Andres Almeida are taking the hate filled vitriol of the Westboro Baptist Church's website www.godhatesfags.com and turning it into beautiful poetry as a reminder that even in midst of hate and anger, we can find beauty, acceptance, and understanding.

I leave you tonight with a poem from Cobb and Almeida's website.

HATE

makes the heart suffer

love for hatred

cause some to fall.