Who's to blame?

I don't know about you, but I'm still reeling from the news of Saturday's shooting of Congresswoman Giffords and death of 6 people at a political rally in Arizona.The finger pointing and fist waving began almost immediately. I am not innocent here. I was one of those people drawing a straight line from Sarah Palin and Jesse Kelly's violent gun-filled imagery to the tragedy in Arizona.

But as we learn more about Jared Loughner and his troubled past we learn even less about why he committed this horrific act. The left is arguing it's Sarah Palin's fault for putting the Congresswoman in her crosshairs and for telling her followers "...don't retreat, reload!" The right point to Loughner's reading list (the Communist Manifesto) as evidence that he was a left-wing nut job. We may never know what were Loughner's political influences - if he had any at all. But this doesn't absolve our "thought" leaders from their role in feeding a madman's delusions.

Today Ms. Palin issued a video statement on the shootings absolving herself from any blame for the tragic events. She's right. It's not her fault. She didn't put the gun directly in Loughner's hand. She didn't tell him to hunt down Congresswoman Giffords. There's no proof that Loughner had ever listened to a word that Ms. Palin ever said, or saw her map with the rifle sights over Giffords's name. But she missed the point and the opportunity to show the American public that she is capable of self-reflection and personal responsibility.

Earlier this week Keith Olbermann issued a mea culpa for adding to the political vitriol that has plagued our airwaves and issued a promise to try and tone it down. While I applaud Olbermann's sentiments, I believe that when the election cycle ramps up and sweeps week approaches, his self-aware sentiments will go right out the window.

Pundits like Palin, Olbermann, Glenn Beck are like parents who feed their kid a steady diet of Twinkies and soda and then act shocked when the pediatrician tells them that their kid weighs 200 lbs and has diabetes. Having access to America's airways is a privilege and responsibility. It's time for our pundits and politicians to step up and accept the responsibility that comes with the privilege they've been enjoying for years.

We'll never know why this disturbed man decided to open fire at a busy shopping center. What will be more productive is to try to understand how he was able to do it. How was it that an obviously disturbed individual went without proper mental health care? How was an obviously disturbed individual with a criminal record able to LEGALLY purchase a handgun? But that's for another blog.

For now, I just want to tune out the shrill, ugly voices on the airwaves. I want to ignore the blame game that is going on. I want to pray for those who were injured in this terrible tragedy and for the families of those who lost their lives. And hope that we can all grow up and learn a few lessons in humility and personal responsibility.

In defense of Sarah Palin (no really, I'm totally serious)

No - I'm not getting addled in my old age. If you read yesterday's post, I mentioned the Vanity Fair article profiling Sarah Palin. The article portrays her as a money grubbing, paranoid, egomaniac. But can't the same be said about 99.99% of politicians out there (at least the money grubbing, egomaniac part)? Then I read the subtext. The author, Michael Joseph Gross, chooses to focus a number traits, behaviors, and incidents that are unique to women.

Gross talks about hairstylists coming to her hotel room. Are we supposed to infer that she is a vain woman, spending inordinate amounts of time on her hair and make-up? Well - many men spend time with their stylists before and event. Remember the uproar about Bill Clinton's haircut on Air Force One?

The author also talks about her mood swings:

"On the 2008 campaign trail, one close aide recalls, it was practically impossible to persuade Palin to take a moment to thank the kitchen workers at fund-raising dinners. During the campaign, Palin lashed out at the slightest provocation, sometimes screaming at staff members and throwing objects. Witnessing such behavior, one aide asked Todd Palin if it was typical of his wife. He answered, “You just got to let her go through it… Half the stuff that comes out of her mouth she doesn’t even mean.” When a campaign aide gingerly asked Todd whether Sarah should consider taking psychiatric medication to control her moods, Todd responded that she “just needed to run and work out more.” Her anger kept boiling over, however, and eventually the fits of rage came every day. Then, just as suddenly, her temper would be gone. Palin would apologize and promise to be nicer. Within hours, she would be screaming again."

Is he implying that PMS may be clouding her judgement? Are women just too temperamental to hold high office? One source for the article stated,

"...she “does not understand math or accounting—she only knows buzzwords, like ‘balanced budget’"

Sounds a lot like that old meme, "girls can't do math." The article goes on to highlight how Sarah Palin trots our her children as props on the campaign trail. Well, don't all politicians (male and female) do the same???? The criticism of her extreme spending of campaign funds for clothes paint her as a shallow clothes horse with a shoe fetish. Well - the same can be said of some male candidates. And I don't hear too much about male candidates' choice of 'intimates' yet Gross feels the need to specify that Palin bought Spanx girdles on while on the campaign trail. Now honestly, what self-respecting woman over 35 doesn't go out of the house without her Spanx?

What about the following passage? Does anyone else see the double standard?

"...There’s a general consensus in town that, at least since the start of the 2008 campaign, Todd has been shouldering the bulk of the parenting and that Sarah’s relationship with her children has grown more distant... An aide overheard conversations between Sarah and Todd in which Sarah tried to make a self-serving argument sound selfless, holding that the campaign was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, one that she could not deny the children. “I don’t care what it costs,” she said. “I want them here.” Although the couple hired a nanny to help the children with their homework, little homework got done."

Do we question a male candidate's decision to bring his children on the campaign trail? Do we question it when the wife of a male candidate takes on the majority of parenting responsibilities? Does the fact that she works and needs help to take care of her family make her a bad mother? That'll be news for the millions of mothers who work hard to support their families and have to call on their partners, family, and childcare providers for help. Now if you want to question her parenting, let's talk about her decision to name her kids Tripp and Trig.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it. Michael Gross defends his article and said that it does not have a sexist bias. He is simply highlighting that Sarah Palin has two personas - public and private. No - really???? A public figure with a private life? I'm shocked, shocked I tell ya! A two-faced politician??? Heresy!

Yesterday I called on parents to raise their daughters to think for themselves, speak with their own voices, and to become our future leaders. Today I'm calling on them to raise their sons to value women on the basis of their intellects, honesty, and values - not on the basis of what society now sees to be "acceptable" roles and behaviors for women. Teach by example. When criticizing a woman's behavior, whether in the workplace or a social setting, don't call her a bitch. Use the same terms you'd use for a man - aggressive, self-serving, cutthroat, etc... Don't refer to her as "emotional" (code word for hormonal) if she just has a bad temper. And realize that when women do get angry, sometimes we have a darn good reason for being so. Teach your sons (and daughters for that matter) to judge women by the same standards that they judge men.

Don't get me wrong - I still think Sarah Palin is bat shit crazy and completely unqualified to hold public office, but for reasons other than she's got a nasty temper and she likes her 4-inch heels.

A Palin/Beck Presidency??? Happy birthday to me.

I don't know which is worse - waking up this morning to find that I am suddenly 41 or waking up this morning to learn that Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin are both scheduled to appear, together, in Alaska to make speeches on September 11th. Hmmm, do I smell a presidential size announcement coming?

Which is scarier - a Beck/Palin ticket or a Palin/Beck ticket? Beck is already hearing voices and if you believe the recent Vanity Fair article, Ms. Palin doesn't seem to be far behind seem to be riding on the same crazy train. In case you missed the article. it's got something for everyone. For Palin haters, it paints her as a vain, emotionally unbalanced, paranoid, money-hungry harpy with a sense of entitlement that is matched only by her sense of self-importance. For Sarah Palin supporters, it reads as a hatchet job that was written by the biased liberal media that is just out to put down a good woman. What is true is that Sarah Palin was grossly under qualified to be either President or Vice President of the United States. At least in her 2008 bid for VP, her lack of qualifications were mitigated by Senator McCain experience. I am going to have nightmares if she and Beck team up.

I know many women liked seeing another woman getting the nod for the #2 spot on the 2008 Republican ticket, but honestly, is she the best the party could come up with? Democrats too haven't done a stellar job at finding qualified women for higher office. I know they have to be out there.

So I'm calling on all you moms and dads of daughters out there to step up and start grooming our girls for leadership. I don't care about your politics. Teach your girls to think critically about what they are learning. Teach them to read the newspaper. Broaden their horizons - and yours at the same time. If you only read the Washington Post try turning on FOX News for a little while and if your primary source of news is from Fox - try giving your ears a little break and turn on NPR - and LISTEN to the other side for awhile. I mean really listen. Teach your daughters to use their voices in class. Teach your daughters to stand up for what they believe in. Teach your daughters that they can make a difference. Teach them that math isn't hard. Teach your daughters to respect themselves and to respect others. Teach them to be self-sufficient. Teach them how to be strong yet flexible. Teach them to THINK!

They may come to share your beliefs or they may follow a different path, but at least you'll know it's their path and they came by it honestly. And maybe, just maybe, we'll have a female candidate for President whom we may not all agree with but we can all respect.